artismysanity

My words and my pictures. All I have

Sunshine after the storm

23 Comments

Hello people! Long time no read! I’ll tell you all that I’m truly glad to be back. This blog feels like a piece of home to me, and it seems like forever has come and left since I last posted anything.

I’m sorry I’ve been silent for so long, but July was a trying month for me. First I was swamped in partials and finals, then the flu took over our house and all three of us were sick at the same time. And then the really bad things started.

It’s hard to find the words to say what happened next, because I’m not sure I’ve fully admitted it to myself. I lost a friend a couple of weeks ago. She went through some very bad things in her life, and I guess the time came when it was just too much for her to bear. I’m not sure what I would have been able to do, but I feel, if only I’d been a little more involved in her life, listened to her problems, maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this way. Now I hope that wherever she is, she’s found what she always longed for.

One week after that, my mom came home from her yearly medical checkup and told me she had to have surgery because they’d found something in her breasts.

I’ve been angry and sad and resentful towards the world for weeks. I felt life was holding a grudge against me, throwing bad thing after bad thing at me, making me pay for all the happy times I had this year. Now I’m trying to embrace my sister’s advice and accept the fact that we’re all on a path we need to walk, and the things that happen to us and to those around us are just milestones in that path, not proof that life hates us. I’m trying to see there’s still beauty in the world, and the world seems to want to help. You wouldn’t believe how early spring is this year. The first flowers are already blossoming, my crocuses are full of buds, and my tulips are full of leaves. My niece is healthy and happy, apparently what my mom has is benign but we’ll find out soon enough, and I’m only a few months away from graduation. There’s plenty to be grateful for. And while I’m thanking, thanks to every one of you that wrote or left a comment to see how I was doing. Now you know why I’ve been missing for so long.

I took these pictures weeks ago, on a stormy day with crazy winds that froze my fingers, and I remember how good it felt to be there. They’ve been sitting in my hard drive while my camera sat on its shelf. Not anymore. I’m out there enjoying life again!

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23 thoughts on “Sunshine after the storm

  1. Long time no see you post a blog again … and now you come and take photographs typical of the atmosphere of the sunset … lovely…!!!

    Welcome back…!

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about all the bad things that went on for you this summer. Your pictures seem to match the mood of this post rather appropriately though. There is always sunshine through the clouds, and wherever shadows fall, light is not far away.

    Take care, and I hope things turn out alright and get better for you soon.

    • Thanks, Vika. I believe there’s a meaning behind the things that happen to us, so finally being ready to come back and post these shots that I’ve had in my hard drive for weeks when I’m leaving my own personal storm behind is very meaningful. It’s reassuring to know the sun’s behind the clouds, no matter how dark the storm is :).
      Thanks for the good wishes and for stopping by!

  3. I’m so glad to see you back and posting! 🙂 I know all too well those difficult times that just seem to go on and on. But, just like you see in your photos, there is sun beyond the storm, we just have to endure the tempest until it is completed. I also know that words don’t help much, just glad you’re back.

    • Thanks, Ted! I’m glad to be back :). Thanks for your messages, too. Ever since we exchanged those words I’ve felt the need to come back to the blog, so I finally did. And it was a wonderful idea, because I’ve had nothing but words of encouragement and good wishes since :). Maybe words themselves can’t help, but the intention behind them, the gesture of caring for another human being, it goes a long way.

  4. Welcome back! Hope your difficult times will get easier and easier.

    I must say, these photos are just stunning! Hope the sun shines into your soul.

  5. I’m so sorry to hear about your lost and feeling downhearted. Your sister is right… we all have a path to walk and sometimes it feels like the path is full of thorny bushes and holes — but just stay true to yourself and things will workout for the best. Good to see you posting again. I miss your words and beautiful photos.

    • It’s hard to believe life has a meaning when so many bad things are happening at the same time, so I’m glad I had my sister to whisper words of wisdom and bring me hope.
      Thanks for the kind words and for missing my art :).

  6. So glad to have you back! I’m very sorry for all that you’ve been through. I hope you know that we all find so much beauty in your words and photos, and I for one am very thankful for you. Keep looking for the wonderful things, there are so many of them.

  7. I am so sorry to hear about all the bad things that seem to be happening in your life just now. I was once told that ‘only the great and the favourite are truly tested’, I don’t know if it helps. What I do know is that you couldn’t of stopped what unfortunately happen with your friend, sometimes life is just to dark. Best thing you can do is carry the good memory of them. I also really hope that your mother is OK. I’m glad the grudge is lifting, it can be such a destructive and heavy emotion and certainly doesn’t suit someone of your wonderfully happy nature.
    That all said I am so glad to see you back and posting again, you have been sorely missed!
    My door is always open for any reason you wish…to shout, rant, listen, laugh…anything!
    Beautifully images
    Much Love
    A.Wally

    • Thanks for everything you’ve said in this comment, Astra. I do know the sad consequences anger and resentment can have, so I’m really glad those emotions are going away. I want to focus on the beautiful and happy aspects of life, and it certainly helps to have so many lovely people leave such awesome comments here :).

  8. Lovely compositions. Events, both positive & negative, often appear to cluster; the old folks always talk about things arriving in three’s (sometimes it seems like the multiple of three). Hope more positive events start coming your way.

  9. Although we’ve never met…I really do look at you as a friend and reading your words in this post, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

    I am so incredibly sorry for all of the sad things that have been happening in your life of late.

    I really hope that your life will turn a huge corner soon, in to the right direction and that only good things will come your way. My Mum always says to me, when I’m feeling down. “Think positive thoughts and postitive things will happen….think negative thoughts and only negative things will happen” I do try and remember this and it does help – it helps me pinch myself, back to reality! Speaking of Mums, I really do hope that your Mum is ok and that’s it good news that you soon hear regarding her. I will send positive vibes/energy her way (and your way too!).

    Your photographs are so beautiful as are your posts. I’ve really missed them and it’s so amazing to see you back here. Sometimes, taking some time out – is a good thing, look at how much you have been missed – by so many people!!

    You are an amazing person who sees true beauty around them….never forget that.

    As for your friend, she wouldn’t want you to feel sadness or to feel regret or to blame yourself in anyway. Live your life the best possible way that you can. That is the best thing that you can do for your friend now – in her memory. x

  10. Dear Belen, Glad you are back! I wouldn’t take all these negative events so personally. Well, let me rephrase that because I’m sure I would. DON’T take these so personally. I’m sorry to hear about your friend and your mother. I agree with your sister’s advice though. Who knows why these things happen? You always seem to find the beauty so I’m not worried for you. Sometimes the clouds make the sunshine all the better.
    Hugs,
    Naomi

    • My best friend pointed out that I was taking it too personal, too, being paranoid and thinking every bad thing in the world was happening to me. I get what she meant, now. The world’s not out to get me, these are just things that happen, and eventually they’ll be over, but in the meantime there are good things happening, too.
      Thanks for your comment, Naomi!

  11. Beautiful photos! I love your header image too. Wishing you much happiness. Jo

  12. I am so sorry to hear about all your pain. Glad you are able to find a positive outlet. The world is a tough place. I hope that, as time goes on, you are blessed with more positive than negative, and realize that when things get bad – they will get better, no matter how hard it is at the time! Scrolling through your posts – you have such lovely pictures. Thank you for sharing – they are a ray of sunshine!

  13. Thanks for your nice comment, Anita! I am learning to take all the bad stuff in stride, deal with problems one at a time, and enjoy life all the same.
    I’m glad you enjoyed my work, and thanks for stopping by!

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